Ok, first off I don't care for this new format, but I can work with it. Earlier today I went to the cemetery in Long Beach to see the final resting place of a good friend from I was younger, as I was there I started to reflect on many things. I remembered the conversations we would have about our future, and what we wanted to do, about out families, and children, and all the other things you think of as teens. As time has gone on i'm at a new place in my life, and that has led to much reflection. I wonder have things turned out the way we saw them all those many years ago? The answer is no. Here what has transpired: I have 4 boys I'm now going through a divorce, and things in life haven't gone to how we thought, but I wonder would things have been different if my friend were still with us? Probably not, the only difference is that he would be here, and quite possibly experiencing, or have experienced some of the same things that I have in this life so far. I wonder as I read his grave marker what fate awaits me, how will my end come? I have a vision of it as i'm sure most of us do. That the end will come with our dignity, and faculties still intact, and we will fade away into a deep sleep never to awaken on this earth again, but in the afterlife instead. This is what I hope for, but what reality does the maker have for me? I see my friends grave, and see that his older sister is buried with him ,and that their Father is buried alongside them as well. I thought about the Father's days that never have come for my friend, and I think to myself how will my children remember me as a Father? Will they say I was a good provider, will they say that I loved them with all that I am. What words will, if any, history, and my family speak of me after I have crossed the valley of death? What words will echo in the sands of time, or the winds of change? These things will all have to wait. I can only hope that my sons remember me as a good loving Father, and a good decent man who only wanted the best for them. I will look upon them from the next life, a Father is always a Father in this life or the next our job is never done. To all the Father's out there who may be reading this I say happy Father's day, and lets enjoy our children. To those who will be Father's or hope to become Father's remember to be a man first, to learn what it is to take care of a child, and to remember that child is your flesh, and blood, and to always behave properly, and with dignity, and most importantly always be a gentleman. It is from us that they will learn how to live their lives, and become what we would hope for them to become. It is us who they will look to for guidance, and advice. Make sure your words will echo throughout time so that they may say these words to their children. Goodbye for now, until the next blog.
The KxLxBx